For slinging truth directly to despotic criminal power in a heroic, selfless act of CONTEMPORARY conscience and righteousness, an act that many others could have done but none dared, Iraqi journalist/shoe-thrower Muntader al-Zaidi is the clear choice for Arthur Magazine’s coveted “Man of the Year” award for 2008.

In honor of the occasion, Charles Potts has composed a new poem, “Balls Out,” which we proudly present here:

Balls Out
for Muntader al-Zaidi

We’ve found Hitler’s missing testicle
Lodged in George W. Bush’s nose.
Yes ladies and gentlemen
George Bush was snorting Nazi Nuts
When one of them got stuck in the cocaine.

Muntader al-Zaidi attempted a seasonal variation on
Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Sweet
With his shoes.

He really wanted to hit the visiting fascist in the face
The lame duck occupational Caesar of the colony of Iraq
To crack the American crackpot empire
With his shoes.

George Bush ducked al-Zaidi’s flying shoes
Just like he ducked
Every single other responsibility of the office he stole.

Duck this George:
Since the nefarious democrats didn’t have balls enough to
Impeach you,
al-Zaidi impeached you with his shoes.

The Muntader al-Zaidi College of Journalism at Yale
Now open for admission.

We owe you a pension al-Zaidi.
We are all in prison
Until you are set free.

—Charles Potts