For slinging truth directly to despotic criminal power in a heroic, selfless act of CONTEMPORARY conscience and righteousness, an act that many others could have done but none dared, Iraqi journalist/shoe-thrower Muntader al-Zaidi is the clear choice for Arthur Magazine’s coveted “Man of the Year” award for 2008.
In honor of the occasion, Charles Potts has composed a new poem, “Balls Out,” which we proudly present here:
for Muntader al-Zaidi
We’ve found Hitler’s missing testicle
Lodged in George W. Bush’s nose.
Yes ladies and gentlemen
George Bush was snorting Nazi Nuts
When one of them got stuck in the cocaine.
Muntader al-Zaidi attempted a seasonal variation on
Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Sweet
With his shoes.
He really wanted to hit the visiting fascist in the face
The lame duck occupational Caesar of the colony of Iraq
To crack the American crackpot empire
With his shoes.
George Bush ducked al-Zaidi’s flying shoes
Just like he ducked
Every single other responsibility of the office he stole.
Duck this George:
Since the nefarious democrats didn’t have balls enough to
al-Zaidi impeached you with his shoes.
The Muntader al-Zaidi College of Journalism at Yale
Now open for admission.
We owe you a pension al-Zaidi.
We are all in prison
Until you are set free.
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The only good to come out of this past administration. If only someone had thought of it sooner. It should not end with two shoes. Every day there should be a public shoeing. There should not be a moment in public view absent from shoe. Even while at the dinner table, in the john, watching TV or in bed dreaming devious diabolical schemes should there be a constant pounding at the walls and windows as all who wish to express their disgust liberate the soles of their feet. Bare feet could become a new symbol of civic pride, civic duty, taking back the land. Potts is right: we will not be free. My favorite part of it all is that the government destroyed the shoes after a forensic study. You can kill the shoes, but not the idea.
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I saw a cartoon recently that said that many Americans were really mad at al-Zaidi, for two reasons: one, that he was such a lousy aim, and two, that he wasn’t a centipede.
Great poem, Charles.
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