Your contributing editor was in the Trader Joe’s one day, grinding his coffee at one of their machines next to some other dude. The spoon that’s usually chained to the coffee grinder — it’s there so you can flip the last of the beans down to be crushed — was gone, so we were both using the plastic lids from our coffee cannisters to this end. Guy says to me something about how isn’t it great we have thumbs, can learn to use simple tools and ha ha ha.
My response: “Fuck thumbs man. Thumbs mean that we developed agriculture, built cities and spread civilization to the point where we gotta have jobs in order to buy food and stay alive.” The dude sorta laughs as I go on. It’s a Silver Lake Trader Joe’s in the middle of the afternoon — i.e. full of self-employed freelancers and other such bohemians and assorted leisure-seekers — so it’s not surprising that he’s somewhat sympathetic to my random, half-serious anti–civilizationspiel.
“Take dolphins, for example. They didn’t evolve thumbs, which means they get all the benefits of intelligence minus the drags of civilization. So they swim around all day having sex and eating sushi,” and dodging tuna nets and plastic bags etc etc, “while you and me have to scrimp and save only to settle for some lame pre-packaged California rolls. Never mind my prospects as a hetero male trying to find a date in a city where the single guys outnumber the single ladies two to one.” He laughs again and we’re both on our way home to enjoy the fruits of civilization such as the aforementioned coffee and deli-fresh sushi.
I was kidding about the sushi line, but as it turns out dolphins use — or at least are starting to use — a sushi-chef like approach to preparing cuttlefish for dining. From Discover:
Australian researchers have observed a female bottlenose dolphin using her snout to prepare a meal of cuttlefish. But instead of just gobbling up the fish, the dolphin carefully extracted its bones before dining—a display of chef-like skills that is extraordinary among marine mammals.
The feast took place in South Australia’s Upper Spencer Gulf, where cuttlefish breed. The researchers had first filmed this amazing culinary-enabled dolphin off the coast of South Australia in 2003, where they saw her preparing four different cuttlefish. They were able to identify her in 2007 by her scars (apparently the circular scars on her head were unique enough to identify her four years later). They recorded her meals with a Sony HD Cam video camera, and later used the footage to analyze her foraging behavior.
Read the original study, “Preparing the Perfect Cuttlefish Meal: Complex Prey Handling by Dolphins” at PLoS ONE.