In Jack Trevor Story’s excellent satirical novel, Screwrape Lettuce, the entire British police force is afflicted with permanent priapism after eating a powerful strain of aphrodisiac red lettuce. One might be forgiven for suspecting that a portion of the current Republican Party has been eating something similar when another story like the one following emerged this weekend:

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in June at a Minnesota airport by a plainclothes police officer investigating lewd conduct complaints in a men’s public restroom, according to an arrest report obtained by Roll Call Monday afternoon.

Craig’s arrest occurred just after noon on June 11 at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. On Aug. 8, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in the Hennepin County District Court. He paid more than $500 in fines and fees, and a 10-day jail sentence was stayed. He also was given one year of probation with the court that began on Aug. 8.

A spokesman for Craig described the incident as a “he said/he said misunderstanding,” and said the office would release a fuller statement later Monday afternoon.

After he was arrested, Craig, who is married, was taken to the Airport Police Operations Center to be interviewed about the lewd conduct incident, according to the police report. At one point during the interview, Craig handed the plainclothes sergeant who arrested him a business card that identified him as a U.S. Senator and said, “What do you think about that?” the report states.

Craig had been outed as gay last year by activist blogger Michael Rogers, shortly after the Mark “Page Pesterer” Foley scandal and shortly before the Ted “Muscles and Meth” Haggard scandal. (And while we’re on the subject of sex in toilets, let’s not forget the ongoing saga of State Representative Bob Allen and his fear of black men.) Craig’s office denied the allegations, of course; maybe the red lettuce or whatever it is they’re eating also causes these persistent lapses of Republican memory cells? Anyway, Michael Rogers issued a statement about Senator Craig earlier today:

“Larry Craig should stand up and be honest with the citizens of Idaho about who he is,” said Rogers, the country’s top gay activist blogger. “Tonight is a historic opportunity for Senator Craig to run for re-election as a proud gay American. What a great turning point for one of the most conservative states in the country to be represented by an openly gay Senator.”

“Senator Craig’s situation is exacerbated by the fact that he has a voting record that is counter to the interest of lesbian and gay Americans. All too often, closeted men like Senator Craig use their voting record to hide their truth from the American people. With this news now out in the open, I call upon Senator Craig to reevaluate his votes on issues like the Federal Marriage Amendment, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and the Defense of Marriage Act.

“The Minnesota arrest is not a one-time occurrence,” Rogers added. “Last October, I reported on three other encounters that Senator Craig had with men – including one in a bathroom in Washington’s Union Station. What’s troubling about this is Larry Craig’s hypocrisy: he repeatedly votes against the gay community during his day job, while engaging in same-sex encounters as extra curricular activity. Now is a good time for Larry Craig to join millions of other Americans and be proud of who he is.”

On October 17, 2006, Rogers broke the story of Craig’s sexual encounters with men. Rogers independently interviewed three Craig sexual partners, two in the Pacific Northwest, and one who lives in Washington, D.C. The Washington source told Rogers that he and Sen. Craig had oral sex in two different bathrooms of Union Station, the train depot within sight of U.S. Senate Office Buildings.

Rogers said the sources each independently described something unique about the senator that could only be known to someone who had had sexual contact with him.

“Without a doubt in my mind, I am absolutely solid on the sources,” Rogers said in October. “I have come to the absolute conclusion based on multiple sourcing in multiple cities around the country. There is no doubt in my mind regarding this information.”

During debates in Congress last year about whether same-sex marriages should be legal, Sen. Craig said, “Marriage has always been defined as the union of a man and a woman, and I believe it should stay that way.”

Viewed from over the Atlantic, these occurrences are hilarious in a beyond-Daily-Show-parody kind of way and depressing in being indicative of the enormous problem much of America still has with different forms of sexuality, not least in its political class.

Here in the UK we have openly gay MPs in all parties now; they can form relationships with partners and live the way they want, they no longer have to cruise for sex in secret. More pertinently, no politician here would dream of using homophobia as a political weapon. We’re over that shit, and living like civilised human beings at last.

And really, we don’t need to invent any mysterious priapic salad to explain these recent scandals; the situation is an entirely self-created one. The problem all those little pink elephants have—and will continue to have—is that they’ve helped foster and sustain an atmosphere that makes it impossible for them to affirm their sexuality. They are—to coin a fine phrase—so far back in the closet, they’re in fucking Narnia. And as long as they stay there, they’ll keep getting caught out, in police stings and other scandals, because sexuality isn’t a choice, it’s what you are.

Bertrand Russell once said, “The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.” He might have added that sometimes those pleasures have a way of turning against the interferers. Keep eating the lettuce, guys.

BOOK CLUB ~ autumn 2007 ~ PLANET OF THE HUMANS ~

~ We will meet in the dome from 7 – 10pm Thursdays from October 4th to December 6th. Each week a visitor will lead the conversation about the weekly book they have selected. Discussions and debates will go from there. Anyone may participate. Read the book* and come prepared to talk and listen. The topic this season is “Planet of the Humans”. Contact matt@fritzhaeg.com to let us know which weeks you would like to attend.

Books include: TENDING THE WILD: Native American Knowledge and the Management of California’s Natural Resources, CROWDS AND POWER , REFUGE: An Unknown History of Family and Place , THE WORLD WITHOUT US, POSSIBILITIES: Essays on Hierarchy, Rebellion, and Desire .

For a complete list of books and facilitators go here.

Arthur No. 26 will be available later this week.

featuring…

Old folks cry, young lovers smile and cynical hipsters get confused when she’s onstage. What is Lavender Diamond’s peace-love-and-ecology frontlady BECKY STARK up to?

Thurston Moore & Byron Coley have an audience with YOKO ONO. Discussed: the Peace industry, Fluxus, Sarah Lawrence and her life/art before Lennon. Plus: “Yoko Tanka,” a review of Ono’s recordings in tanka form. With photography by Eden Batki and a selection of vintage Ono photos.

Ever been harassed by a cop? Then you know how suicide bombers get made, says DAVE REEVES, PhD.

Columnist DOUGLAS RUSHKOFF says 9/11 CONSPIRACY THEORISTS are distracting many of our brightest minds from the ongoing horror show in plain view.

Journalist Joel Rose visits 80-year-old Zen humorist/media innovator HENRY JACOBS. Plus, an appreciation of Jacobs’ radio and TV work by filmmaker Mike Mills.

DEERHOOF dude Greg Saunier spiels on the joy of all-ages gigs. Plus photos of DC’s early punk scene, from by photographer Susie J. Horgan’s Punk Love book.

Fashion!!! Fringe knitter TINA MARRIN works off the grid in her cozy, color wonderland. Click here to download Tina’s how-to on making your own miniature knitted skunk!

Byron Coley remembers the SUN CITY GIRLS.

Columnist MOLLY FRANCES hops on Miranda July’s time machine to visit a land of seeded fruit.

Soon the State will have Hummers with cannons that can heat up people’s skin half a kilometer away. The Center for Tactical Magic has some more evolved ideas about mobilizing vehicles for change. Plus: what to do when cops really want to search your car.

New “People Are Talking” columnist Brian J. Davis on what SIMON COWELL, Secretary of Defense ROBERT GATES and KELLY CLARKSON have (respectively) been up to this summer.

PShaw’s “Strings”: full-page comics in full color.

“Bull Tongue” columnists Byron Coley & Thurston Moore review the latest emanations from the deep underground.

C &D drink beers and check out new records by Alan Vega, Magik Markers, Blues Control, Celebration, White Rainbow, Devendra Banhart, Daniel A.I.U. Higgs, Angels of Light, Wolves in the Throne Room and Marie Sioux. They also share their feelings about the Faust IV reissue and The Source: The Untold Story of Father Yod, Ya Ho Wa 13 and The Source Family book.

You can download the complete magazine as a PDF in two parts:
Part 1 (6.5mb)
Part 2 (10.6mb)

Subscribe now via PayPal and receive Arthur for a year, shipped directly to you from the printer. Or, order Arthur No. 26 direct from us. Use PAYPAL:

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World – $11 airmail

found via Stephen O’Malley

upland breakdown

Sat. 25, Beartree Tavern, Centennial, Wyoming
Souled American, Michael Hurley, Stop & Listen Boys, Ralph White, Birgit Burke

Sun. 26, Swing Station, LaPorte, Colorado
Souled American, Michael Hurley, Stop & Listen Boys, Spot, The Places

curated by Joe Carducci and David Lightbourne

from the Rocky Mountain News:

“I formed my first band in the mid- to late-seventies, ’78 for the sake of argument,” [David Lightbourne] says. “And in 1978, the only venues available to you were NHL arenas. There were no bands that didn’t have a stack of 27 Marshalls on top of each other for every instrument.

“They were putting drummers in cages. And I said, ‘No. Give me an acoustic guitar, one microphone, a washboard and a mandolin, and I’ll show you what rock ’n’ roll is supposed to sound like.’ And it’s just my reaction against the arena-rock era. I tried to take it all the way down to Elvis and Sun Records in ’53 with just a Martin acoustic bluegrass guitar. He didn’t have a synthesizer. They couldn’t punch in and punch out bad notes. That’s rock ’n’ roll. Not Sting saving the hummingbirds.”

The New York Times

August 23, 2007

Scientists Induce Out-of-Body Sensation

By SANDRA BLAKESLEE

Using virtual reality goggles, a camera and a stick, scientists have induced out-of-body experiences — the sensation of drifting outside of one’s own body — in healthy people, according to experiments being published in the journal Science.

When people gaze at an illusory image of themselves through the goggles and are prodded in just the right way with the stick, they feel as if they have left their bodies.

The research reveals that “the sense of having a body, of being in a bodily self,” is actually constructed from multiple sensory streams, said Matthew Botvinick, an assistant professor of neuroscience at Princeton University, an expert on body and mind who was not involved in the experiments.

Usually these sensory streams, which include including vision, touch, balance and the sense of where one’s body is positioned in space, work together seamlessly, Prof. Botvinick said. But when the information coming from the sensory sources does not match up, when they are thrown out of synchrony, the sense of being embodied as a whole comes apart.

The brain, which abhors ambiguity, then forces a decision that can, as the new experiments show, involve the sense of being in a different body.

The research provides a physical explanation for phenomena usually ascribed to other-worldly influences, said Peter Brugger, a neurologist at University Hospital in Zurich, Switzerland. After severe and sudden injuries, people often report the sensation of floating over their body, looking down, hearing what is said, and then, just as suddenly, find themselves back inside their body.

The new research is a first step in figuring out exactly how the brain creates this sensation, he said.

The out-of-body experiments were conducted by two research groups using slightly different methods intended to expand the so-called rubber hand illusion.
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