MONSTER INTERVIEW: Dave Tompkins talks to GODZILLA (Arthur, 2004)

Originally published in Arthur No. 10 (May 2004). Illustration by Brian Ralph…

“I COULD USE SOME FLIP-FLOPS”: What if Godzilla was one of us? A slightly testy King of Monsters reflects on his long career in this exclusive interview with Dave Tompkins

Known for his bad sense of direction, Godzilla “King of the Monsters” was recently spotted lumbering around Long Island, insisting to bewildered local officials that he was on “Monster Island” and asking where the hell was Rodan and in general making a big mess. Apparently, the Kaji Eigu legend hadn’t been notified that local mecha-faced rapper MF Doom had transferred the title of God’s former stomping ground to a New York suburb known for its tasteful lawn furniture, cracked toenail polish and a crew of rappers called “the Monster Island Czars.” Confused but flattered, Godzilla was in good spirits when Arthur correspondent Dave Tompkins found him resting comfortably in an orange floral lounger, popping beta capsules in Doom’s backyard. After an unprecedented 50 years in the monster game, Godzilla is happy to finally retire—though he’d still suit-up at a moment’s roar. Under a bruised sky, the bomb-born icon reflected on his career, quoted Public Enemy and marveled at how he nearly had his ass whooped by a moth…

ARTHUR: Godziller, wake up.

Godzilla: I dreamt I was a 400-foot tall black guy having sex with a volcano.

ARTHUR: That was the Dave Chappelle Show…

Godzilla: He was Blackzilla and the volcano was a very active Mount Fuji. My name is everywhere… from Yankees pitchers to Parliament bass players. I can’t be mad at that.

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MF Doom’s Villainous Mac & Cheeze (Arthur, 2005)

From Arthur No. 14/Jan 2005:

villainous mac & cheeze

Come On In My Kitchen:

MF Doom’s Villainous Mac & Cheeze

We wish there were more rappers like Daniel Dumile. Back when he went by the name of Zev Love X, Dumile and his twin brother Sub Roc made records as KMD, a near-perfect fusion of early ’90s hip-hop. Their music was as wacky and open as a tongue-waggling gas face, and as militant and aggravated as the blows rained on up-jumping punks. They were signed by Elektra, but the label refused to release their masterpiece, Bl_ck B_st_rds. In 1993, with a career-defining piece of music stuck in limbo, Sub Roc died in a car accident. With his life seemingly in the shitter, Dumile did what most of us would’ve: He went to the park and got drunk for a few years.

In 1998, he re-emerged as MF Doom, a black, bastardized version of Marvel Comics arch-villain Dr. Doom. He dropped a beautiful album of painfully sincere, complex and sometimes hilarious stories laid over weird ’80s R&B and Scooby-Doo samples called Operation: Doomsday. Since then Doom’s done great work with heavily-blunted L.A. hip-hop producer Madlib and released several hazy instrumental albums in the Special Herbs series. His new full-length on Rhymesayers is the finger-licking Mm..Food. Arthur asked for one of the MF Doom house specials. Here’s what we got…

5 cups cooked macaroni (approx. 4 cups uncooked)
1 stick butter
1 cup bread crumbs
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1tbls sugar
One minced fresh garlic clove
2 cups milk
1 8 oz package Colby/ Monterey Jack cheese
4 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Cook the macaroni until done as usual Add sugar and garlic to water.Do not overcook it. Drain macaroni in strainer.
Place macaroni, butter, salt, pepper, milk, Colby/jack cheese, and 3 cups of cheddar cheese in a pot boil slow add bread crumbs.
Cover everything with aluminum foil and cook for 45 minutes at 350 degrees.
Uncover and add extra cup of cheddar cheese across the top. Bake uncovered for another 15 minutes.

“Macaroni and Cheese is an ol’ time classic but Villainous Mac & Cheeze was concocted by wifey about three years ago. It took a couple years to perfect and you must follow the recipe exactly or else. Now Villainous Mac & Cheeze has become an MF family favorite, perfect for any holiday or special meal…enjoy and don’t forget your potholderz…”—MF the Super Villain